Twitter's 19 Funniest Excuses To Get You Out Of Jury Duty

Twitter users give their best excuses to be excused from jury duty and you might actually want to use some of these next time.

I served on a jury shortly after graduating college. It was fine, because I didn't have a job at that point and didn't have anything better to do. 

However, if you were to ask me today to serve on a jury I would do whatever I could to get out of it. I have too many other things on my plate to worry about small stuff, like the pursuit of justice. I could simply say that I don't think I can be impartial and that normally gets you off pretty quickly. But that seems boring so I think I'll use one of these more creative responses. 

1. Does the tapeworm get a say?

#GetOutOfJuryDutyIn4Words

β€” Comedy Central (@ComedyCentral) September 8, 2017

2. Do you want to go against the prophesy?

#GetOutOfJuryDutyIn4Words end every sentence with "according to the prophesy"

β€” Nunya (@nunyabiz315) September 8, 2017

3. I think we're done here.

I know they're guilty. πŸ’πŸ½β€β™‚οΈ #GetOutOfJuryDutyIn4Words

β€” Gregory Pizarro Jr. (@gregpizarrojr) September 8, 2017

4. Everyone loves it when the jury jokes around.

#GetOutOfJuryDutyIn4Words
"Will the Accused please come before the Judge?"
⬇️

β€” Dan Murphy πŸŽ¬πŸ¦‡ (@Engine26Studios) September 8, 2017

5. This is how I react to the law.

#GetOutOfJuryDutyIn4Words

My erection won't stop.

β€” mαŽ₯ᏦᎬ ᏞαŽ₯α†αŽ¬α’αŽͺᏞᏞᎽ (@SkippyMcGizzard) September 8, 2017

6. What would you expect me to do?

#GetOutOfJuryDutyIn4Words

"Do not judge others" - #Jesus

St.Matthew 7:1 NLV#God #HolySpirit #Bible #Christian #Inspire #Success #Weekend

β€” Holy Bible Today (@holybibletoday) September 8, 2017

7. Hahahahaha!

#GetOutOfJuryDutyIn4Words
There's laughter in manslaughter

β€” Kitty🐱 (@kittykrumley) September 8, 2017

8. No touching!

#GetOutOfJuryDutyIn4Words

Dry hump the Bailiff

β€” Mattrick (@MClittlebigg) September 8, 2017

9. Good job!

Applaud after every answer #GetOutOfJuryDutyIn4Words

β€” Lemon Tart (@LoveLemonTarts) September 8, 2017

10. Meow meow meow.

#GetOutOfJuryDutyIn4Words
Answer everything in meows.

β€” Kitty🐱 (@kittykrumley) September 8, 2017

11. I love pretending.

#GetOutOfJuryDutyIn4Words
Can I play Judge?

β€” Emma Neminem (@firsttimetoker) September 8, 2017

12. You'll get out of jury duty, but find yourself right back in the courtroom.

#GetOutOfJuryDutyIn4Words

By slapping the judge.

β€” Ro'King M (@Rokingm) September 8, 2017

13. What? This is how we used to do it.

bring rocks for stoning #GetOutOfJuryDutyIn4Words

β€” Mimi (@mimidancer) September 8, 2017

14. Go on. Quiz me.

I'm a law professor. #GetOutOfJuryDutyIn4Words

β€” lawprofblawg (@lawprofblawg) September 8, 2017

15. How do you expect me to sit through this?

Ask everyone for weed ... #GetOutOfJuryDutyIn4Words

β€” Mattrick (@MClittlebigg) September 8, 2017

16. Oh boy.

Hitler tattoo on forehead #GetOutOfJuryDutyIn4Words

β€” Tomas Heart (@catheternebula) September 8, 2017

17. He only writes in squiggles.

Note from imaginary friend. #GetOutOfJuryDutyIn4Words

β€” Sir Dude (@FoolWearsBlack) September 8, 2017

18. Sup?

#GetOutOfJuryDutyIn4Words
Show up like this

β€” Jamil Reis (@ReisJamil) September 8, 2017

19. Uh...

lets use death penalty #GetOutOfJuryDutyIn4Words

β€” Mimi (@mimidancer) September 8, 2017

ncG1vNJzZmivp6x7pbXSramam6Ses7p6wqikaKCloryze5FpaHBnYG58cYSOa21vpKmOfKvB0bJkna2krnqmxMKuqp6r

You Might Also Like